Many people (including myself!) struggle with this pressure and the need of being resilient. Because how you can be resilient when you face never ending problems all around - at work, at home, financial, health issues, relationship, kids... The list goes on and on. And it really hard to find that balance, isn't it? When you think something is sorted another thing just pops up on the radar. How to change all of that? Firstly - start trusting yourself.
You might ask - how does it make sense and what trust has to do with resilience? It is proven that building a trust within yourself builds more confidence and helps you making better choices. This trust can be transferred over the other areas of you life but as we spend the most time with ourselves, we need to create that integral trust first.
The components of trust are following:
- sincerity
- reliability
- consistency
- integrity
- commitment
What it means in practice is that once you make certain decision and commit to the plan you start building this internal trust by showing up. If you choose to exercise 4 days a week, then you do that no matter what. As it might be hard at the start and you will hear the little whisper that will advise you to stay on the couch, by committing to that initial plan, you prove yourself that you are stronger and more reliable.
Another point to consider when approaching the resilience subject is go through your list of personal values. Think what is important to you and make it a priority. The list of values does not need to be long. It is usually 5 the most important things that create a core entry point to your actions. What these help you with is following:
When you have clear values this help you making better decision.
Important note is that 'When you are not making a decision is a decision itself'. Do you want to feel stuck in the same place for long?
What are the other benefits of making decision based on your values - see following:
1) Individuation and self actualisation (you are important and your needs are met)
2) Values are uniting us around shared basic human principles
3) It brings simplicity - all the rules are reduced
4) Accountability (and opportunity to start fresh)
When you know yourself better and what is important to you, you can start setting up boundaries. Pleasing people leaves very little room for your own living, the way you want.
DON'T FORGET ABOUT SELF-CARE
We are busy running from one place to another forgetting that our bodies and minds can only carry out like that for some time.
Remember to :
* take care of your mind - make a plan to preserve your mental wellbeing;
* take care of your body - think what do you do to keep your body in a good form and provide it with some rest.
Life is not a sprint, it's a marathon!
Just to summarise the life journey - we can compare it to an ancient symbol of lotus flower. Buddhists see it as a beautiful metaphor for life where
'Mud represents the suffering and obstacles of life, and the lotus flower symbolises our journey to overcome these obstacles'. *source: http://7chakrastore.com
